There's nothing to win.

Two can play at this, she thought. I challenge you to a duel.

We’ll start slow.

Letter for letter,
word for word, sentence to sentence.
Let’s see who evokes the others emotion to come forth
first.
I admit -
I’m sure she’ll be shy at first, but your words are so
tempting
and she’s been contemplating her unveil.

GO
.
..
…
….
…..
Is that you? She thought
what have you become?

Or worse,

who have you always been?
you’ve hid from me?

THAT TUGGED AT ME.

Now paragraphs to paragraphs and pages to pages,
......this isn’t combat
although Emotionally violent,
there’s nothing to win
(i dont give in)
But each other.

12:45am.

I don't have enough courage to write what I wanted to say tonight. It's funny how things become real. But maybe it's not real? I am very capable of convincing my mind of things - hopefully this is the case.

Maybe I'll write about something else since I am incredibly unable to sleep and incredibly exhausted. I taught my students about freewriting today - "brain energy" and I told them to "pull the levers in their brains" (we imaged our brains as a slot machine) and just write.

My cat has managed to curl between back and the pillow I am resting on; Why couldn't he just continue to keep my feet warm?